TIPS BAGI MEREKA YANG SEDANG ATAU AKAN JATUH CINTA

Tips bagi mereka yang sedang atau akan jatuh cinta berdasarkan telaah ilmiah populer dan kontemporer dari segi kejiwaan, business, dan acting (seni peran).

Kadang, cinta merupakan kejutan. Maksudnya, orang yang jatuh cinta dan yang dijatuhin cinta sama-sama terkejut, meski penderitaannya tidak seberat orang yang kejatuhan duren. Datang begitu saja, tanpa ditanya, tanpa direncanakan, bahkan tanpa pemberitahuan terlebih dahulu, baik tertulis ataupun lisan dari Ketua RT, Ketua RW, Kelurahan, ataupun Ketua KORPRI. Pokoknya, tiba-tiba saja seseorang langsung merasakannya. Bila cinta timbul pada pandangan pertama, itu namanya cinta kilat. But nothing to do with "Titipan Kilat" or "Elteha". Berdasarkan kaidah-kaidah manajemen, cinta model begini dinilai sangat efisien, karena hemat atau ngirit dalam segalanya termasuk biaya dan waktu. Tidak perlu upaya yang bersifat penggombalan, yang tentu saja, memerlukan waktu dan biaya.

Dapat pula, cinta timbul karena terbiasa atau kulino. "Witing tresno jalaran soko kulino", kata orang Jawa. Model cinta yang beginian berlaku bagi tipe orang yang telmi alias telat mikir, yang pada dasarnya merupakan perwujudan reaksi terlambat yang dialami seseorang. Akibatnya, tidak hemat alias boros.

Kalau cinta monyet lain lagi. Yang model ini tidak ada kaitannya dengan kebun binatang dimanapun juga di dunia yang fana ini. Itu adalah penyakit para anggota OSIS. Model beginian agak ngirit. Karena harga satuan cinta monyet dihitung berdasarkan pada nilai uang kertas yang bergambar monyet alias uang Rp. 500,- Tapi kalau kebanyakan jadi mahal juga. Oleh karena itu, cinta monyet tidak boleh mahal, sebab kalau mahal namanya cinta gorila. Maklum jumlah uang Rp. 500,-nya bisa jadi banyak sih. Secara matematis, himpunan monyet ekuivalen dengan seekor gorila. Baik cinta model yang pertama, yang kedua, maupun yang ketiga sama-sama menimbulkan akibat yang serupa, yaitu mabuk kepayang. Dapat membuat orang yang terjangkiti mengidap penyakit lupa daratan. Meski juga tidak pernah ingat lautan, maklum tidak berjiwa bahari. Ya, pokoknya lupa segalanya deh! Bahkan kadang bisa terjadi, lupa hutangnya.

Harap diingat bahwa cinta dapat membuat orang berani berhutang. Maklum saja, karena terkadang cinta membuat orang merasa kepepet. Kepepet oleh si dia ataupun oleh camer alias calon mertua. Yang terakhir ini, yaitu camer, patut dipertimbangkan keberadaannya oleh siapapun yang sedang jatuh cinta, karena tidak jarang alias seringkali mereka overacting dalam menjalankan tugas dan fungsinya. Yah, kayak Satpam atau Koramil atau Babinsa, bahkan PHH (Pasukan Huru Hara) yang baru saja menerima SK pengangkatan atau penugasan.

Pengorbanan, dalam bentuk apapun, mulai dari sikap berpura-pura sampai dalam bentuk materi, harus dipersiapkan untuk menghadapi model camer seperti itu. Khusus untuk sikap berpura-pura, kalau perlu, harus dilatih secara intensif. Maklum ini termasuk dalam kategori acting. Mengingat reputasinya, LPKJ (Lembaga Pendidikan Kesenian Jakarta) merupakan salah satu institusi yang patut direkomendasikan bagi setiap orang yang ingin belajar acting (setahu saya, INTERSTUDI tidak memiliki program studi yang menyangkut masalah acting). Kalau toh gagal dalam cinta, tidak perlu khawatir, karena masih ada harapan untuk main sinetron yang sekarang lagi naik daun di layar kaca. Dus, tidak akan mubazirlah! Kalau pengorbanan berbentuk materi, itu namanya pelicin, tetapi berbeda fungsinya dengan pelumas, karena pelumas hanyalah dipakai untuk melumasi hal-hal yang kering-kering saja. Yang dimaksud pelicin adalah semacam sesuatu yang harus atau paling tidak diberikan oleh pemasok, kontraktor, ataupun konsultan baik swasta maupun BUMN, untuk mendapatkan order. Jadi mirip-mirip business deh! Yah, ini memang masalah transaksi. Namun yang bersangkutan tidak memerlukan SIUP (Surat Izin Usaha Perusahaan) ataupun SIUJK (Surat Izin Usaha Jasa Konstruksi).

Yang harus diingat adalah bahwa keterangan domisili, paling tidak dari Kelurahan, mutlak tetap diperlukan oleh camer, karena ini menyangkut masalah pertanggungjawaban apabila di kelak kemudian hari something goes wrong dalam proses pacaran. Tapi jangan berpikir yang ngeres-ngeres, karena maksudnya adalah apabila ada barang-barang milik pacar atau camer takut terbawa pulang, secara sengaja ataupun tidak (tidak diperlukan klarifikasi tentang motivasinya). Itu semua tips bagi yang masih waras.

Cinta dapat juga membuat orang menjadi pikun. Hal ini sungguh-sungguh bisa merepotkan semua pihak, baik yang terkait maupun yang tidak! Gejalanya? Pertama-tama dia, yang sedang dilanda cinta, lupa nama seseorang, lalu lupa wajah seseorang, kemudian lupa menutup ritsluiting, dan akhirnya lupa membukanya. Nah, payah kan?

Lalu apa tips bagi orang yang sedemikian itu? Mudah sekali! Pesan saja celana tanpa ritsluiting (juga tanpa kancing sekalian). Hitung-hitung amal buat si tukang jahit. Hal yang sangat penting yang harus diwaspadai oleh para cowok, siapapun juga mereka, yang akan jatuh cinta, adalah bahwa cinta itu terkadang membuat para cewek menjadi buta atau agak-agak rabun begitu. Oleh karena itu janganlah heran ataupun kaget bila mereka, yaitu para cewek, amat sangat memerlukan kacamata, apapun bentuk, merk ataupun ukurannya. Maksudnya, adalah dengan kacamata, mereka dapat dengan jelas membedakan mana yang sepeda, Vespa, Honda, KIA ataupun Toyota. Dus peran dokter mata dan toko optik cukup penting. Tips-nya apa? Kacamata kuda, yang untuk kuda lumping juga boleh, merupakan jenis kacamata yang paling cocok bagi cewek yang model begini. Jadi tenang-tenang sajalah. Pokoknya semua itu ada penangkalnya.

Kesimpulannya adalah bahwa cinta erat kaitannya dengan dunia acting, pelicin, ritsluiting, dan kacamata. Dan kesimpulan yang terakhir adalah bahwa cinta merepotkan semua pihak. Itu semua menurut moderator dalam suatu diskusi ilmiah yang dicatat oleh para notulist. Salah kutip ataupun salah ketik tidak perlu dipersoalkan. Terima sajalah!

Tetapi janganlah khawatir untuk jatuh cinta karena cinta dan jatuh cinta itu tidak merupakan dosa, tindak kriminal, ataupun pelanggaran. Selama planet bumi ini ada, tidak pernah terdengar kabar berita bahwa pak Polisi, apapun pangkatnya dan jabatannya, menangkap cinta, karena memang cinta tidak bisa ditangkap. Pak Polisipun tidak pernah menangkap orang yang jatuh cinta. Yang ditangkap pak Polisi adalah orang yang melakukan tindak kriminal, minimal melakukan pelanggaran lalu lintas, mungkin, ini hanya mungkin lho, akibat jatuh cinta.

Satu hal yang pasti adalah bahwa jatuh cinta hanyalah diperuntukkan bagi para pemberani. Maksudnya adalah bagi mereka yang berani malu, tentu saja! Ini jaga-jaga kalau cinta ditolak.

Nah, silahkan jatuh cinta! Tidak ada salahnya untuk mencoba. Asal ingat bahwa resiko menjadi tanggung jawab anda sendiri. Jangan sekali-kali melibatkan orangtua, saudara, teman, lebih-lebih para anggota DPR ataupun MPR dari partai manapun asalnya. Jangan pula melibatkan Tuhan, sebagaimana para komponis lagu-lagu cengeng.

Tapi janganlah lupa agar terlebih dahulu mendaftar menjadi anggota Barisan Berani Malu. Kesimpulannya, ini kesimpulan penutup, jadi benar-benar kesimpulan, baik cinta maupun jatuh cinta tidak perlu dianalisis, melainkan untuk dijalani dan dinikmati sajalah! Tanpa harus peduli dengan masalah acting, pelicin, ritsluiting, kacamata, segala macam kerepotan yang ditimbulkannya, serta tidak usah mikirin pak Polisi.

Nikmati sajalah cinta yang sedang menjatuhi atau melanda anda! Gampang, kan? Oleh karena itu, tulisan ini tidak usah dibaca! Ngabisin waktu saja! Sekian, terima kasih atas perhatian anda disertai permintaan maaf karena mungkin membuat anda kecewa berat.

Jakarta, di suatu hari di bulan Mei tahun 1996

Bowel Obstruction
What Is It?

In a bowel obstruction (intestinal obstruction), a blockage prevents the contents of the intestines from passing normally through the digestive tract. The problem causing the blockage can be inside or outside the intestine. Inside the intestine, a tumor or swelling can fill and block the inside passageway of the intestine. Outside the intestine, it is possible for an adjacent organ or area of tissue to pinch, compress or twist a segment of bowel.
A bowel obstruction can occur in the small bowel (small intestine) or large bowel (large intestine or colon). Also, a bowel obstruction can be total or partial, depending on whether any intestinal contents can pass through the obstructed area.
In the small intestine, the most common causes of bowel obstruction are:

* Adhesions — Adhesions are areas of tough, fibrous connective tissue that are a type of scar. Adhesions develop on the outside of injured intestine or pelvic organs as they heal after surgery or infection. Gynecologic surgeries and surgery involving the appendix or colon are particularly likely to result in adhesions. Adhesions do not always cause symptoms when they first form. Because of the motion of the intestine, it is common for these collections of scar tissue to be stretched into string-like or band-like tethers over time. An area of adhesions can cause obstruction of the small bowel if it is pulled into the shape of a constricting band, pinching a portion of the small intestine closed from the outside. Adhesions also can bind to neighboring loops of intestine and later tighten, pulling the intestine into an abnormal arrangement that limits the flow of intestinal contents. Adhesions are the most common cause of small bowel obstruction in the United States, accounting for 50 percent to 70 percent of all cases.
* Hernia — If there is a structural weakness in the wall of the abdomen, a portion of the small intestine may protrude through this weakened area, and appear as a lump under the skin. This protruding segment of intestine, called a hernia, can cause the small intestine to become obstructed if it becomes trapped or tightly pinched at the point where it pokes through the abdominal wall. In extreme cases, the pinched intestine also may "strangulate," meaning the blood supply is cut off. Hernias are the second most common cause of small bowel obstruction in the United States, accounting for about 25 percent of all cases. Typically, hernias appear as lumps near the navel (umbilical hernia), between the navel and breastbone (ventral hernia), at the site of a healed surgical incision (incisional hernia), near the groin (inguinal hernia), or at the front of the upper thigh (femoral hernia).
* Tumors — Cancerstypically cause small bowel obstruction either by pressing on the outside of the bowel and pinching it closed, or by growing within the wall of the intestine and slowly blocking its inner passageway. Cancers account for a small percent of all small bowel obstructions. In most cases, the tumor does not begin in the small intestine itself. More often, it is a cancer that has spread (metastasized) to the small bowel from another site in the colon, female reproductive tract, breast, lung or skin.

In the large intestine, the most common causes of bowel obstruction are:

* Colorectal cancer — About half of all large bowel obstructions are caused by colorectal cancer. Undiagnosed colon or rectal cancer may cause a gradual narrowing of the large intestine's inner passageway. Usually patients experience intermittent constipation for a while before the bowel finally becomes obstructed.
* Volvulus — Volvulus is an abnormal twisting of a segment of bowel around itself. This twisting motion typically produces a closed loop of bowel with a pinched base, leading to intestinal obstruction. In Western countries, volvulus is most common among people over age 65, and these patients often have a history of chronic (long-term) constipation. Obstruction caused by volvulus generally causes symptoms that develop quickly, usually within a couple days.
* Diverticular disease — In the large bowel, diverticula are small, balloon-shaped pouches that protrude from the wall of the intestine. If diverticula become infected, a condition called diverticulitis, scars may form in the wall of the colon as it heals. A scar that encircles the colon is called a colon stricture. As a stricture ages and tightens, it can narrow the intestine gradually, eventually causing a blocked colon.

Symptoms

Symptoms of small bowel obstruction can include:

* Crampy abdominal pain, generally coming in intense waves that strike at intervals of five to 15 minutes and sometimes center either on the navel or between the navel and rib cage (Pain that becomes constant may be a symptom of bowel strangulation.)
* Nausea and vomiting
* No gas passing through the rectum
* A bloated abdomen, sometimes with abdominal tenderness
* Rapid pulse and rapid breathing during episodes of cramps

Symptoms of large bowel obstruction can include:

* A bloated abdomen
* Abdominal pain, which can be either vague and mild, or sharp and severe, depending on the cause of the obstruction
* Constipation at the time of obstruction, and possibly intermittent bouts of constipation for several months beforehand
* If a colon tumor is the cause of the problem, a history of rectal bleeding (such as streaks of blood on the stool)
* Diarrhea resulting from liquid stool leaking around a partial obstruction

Prevention

You may be able to reduce your risk of some forms of bowel obstruction by modifying your diet and lifestyle. For example:

* To help prevent colorectal cancer, eat a balanced diet low in fat with plenty of vegetables and fruits, don't smoke, and see your doctor for colorectal cancer screening once a year after age 50.
* To help prevent hernias, avoid heavy lifting, which increases pressure inside the abdomen and may force a section of intestine to protrude through a vulnerable area of your abdominal wall. If you develop an abnormal lump under the skin of your abdomen, especially near your groin or near a surgical scar, contact your doctor.
* There is no proven way to prevent obstruction caused by diverticular disease, but some doctors believe that people with diverticular disease should follow a high-fiber diet and avoid foods that may become lodged in the diverticula, such as seeds and popcorn.

Treatment

If you have a bowel obstruction, you will be treated in a hospital. A flexible, lubricated nasogastric tube (NG tube) can be inserted through your nose into your stomach to help remove excess gas from your stomach and intestines. You will be given fluids intravenously (through a vein) because you will not be allowed to eat or drink.
Partial small bowel obstruction often improves within a few days, and the NG tube can be removed if one has been used. At that point, you will be given sips of fluid. If you tolerate this well, you will be given a full liquid diet for a day or more followed by solid foods that are easy to digest. A complete bowel obstruction often requires surgery to correct or remove the cause of the obstruction (tumor, adhesions, stricture), repair the hernia, or fix the segment of intestine at risk of repeated volvulus. During this surgery, a segment of damaged or strangulated intestine also may be removed.
It is sometimes most practical for your doctor and you to take a “watch and see” approach if you recover from one or two episodes of bowel obstruction without surgery. You may eventually require surgery to correct the cause of blockage or to prevent future episodes, but surgery is not necessary for every person.

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tips on diet foods for summer
Try these fruits of summer for good health - and weight loss.


If you want to lose weight this summer once and for all, forget about diets. Instead, try these nutritionally rich, low-calories foods each day to help you slim down this summer. And don't forget to drink plenty of water!
Tomatoes and Peppers

Colorful fruits and vegetables of the vine get their wide range of vivid colors from health-protecting substances such as lycopene, vitamin C and vitamin A. Use them generously in dishes to enhance nutrients with very few calories.
1. Choose firm, well-shaped tomatoes that are fragrant and intensely colored, store at room temperature and enjoy within a few days.
2. Keep canned petite diced tomatoes on hand for a low-calorie and nutritious addition to salads, pastas, soups, casseroles or dips.
3. Roasted peppers do wonders for any dish or alone as a side dish. Roast them yourself or buy them already roasted in a jar for added color and nourishment.

Recipe idea: Oven-dry g**** tomatoes by slicing in half and placing cut side up on a cookie sheet. Sprinkle with salt and drizzle lightly with olive oil. Bake at 250 F for two hours. Toss oven-dried tomatoes into pasta, salads or enjoy as an appetizer with goat cheese.
Berries

Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, black raspberries, blackberries -- these delicious colorful berries contain a powerhouse of antioxidants that help prevent cellular damage. They are also an excellent source of fiber and very low in calories. Eat them by the handful or work more of them into your diet.
1. Get your day started with a healthy dose of fiber and antioxidants. Enjoy whole-grain cereal, pancakes, or waffles topped with fresh or frozen blueberries.
2. Skip the decadent dessert and satisfy your sweet tooth with a bowl of fresh mixed berries.
3. Mix fresh berries into a spinach or mixed green salad for a refreshing and filling first course.
Recipe idea: Toss toasted slivered almonds, sliced strawberries, sliced scallions, grilled chicken strips, and salad greens with a light raspberry vinaigrette for a healthy summer supper.
Yogurt

Yogurt and other low-fat dairy products are powerhouses of calcium and protein. They may also help you lose weight. Research suggests that dairy food, when part of a reduced-calorie diet, can enhance weight loss while strengthening bones and keeping you feeling full and satisfied.
1. Substitute low-fat frozen yogurt for premium ice cream for added nutrition and fewer calories.
2. Whip up a quick batch of smoothies for a nourishing family breakfast or snack using any fresh or frozen fruit, plain low-fat yogurt, 100% fruit juice, and ice.
3. Read the label and find healthy, low-calorie portable yogurt smoothies for meals on the go.

Recipe idea: Dazzle your friends and family with a beautiful, low-calorie parfait made by layering fresh fruit, low-fat vanilla yogurt, and granola for a quick meal, snack or dessert.

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Natural Moisturizers for Dry Skin
Does your skin feel like a desert? Not to worry! Soft, supple skin is not a mirage. If you're stuck in a dry spell and searching for relief, try a few of these natural moisturizing techniques to hydrate and revitalize your skin.

Hydrating Facial Mask
In a small bowl, mix one avocado, one raw egg, and one teaspoon of coconut oil to form a creamy paste. Apply the paste to your face and let it work its magic for 25 - 30 minutes. Rinse with warm water. Raw eggs and avocados contain natural moisturizing proteins, making them a super combo for fresh, luxurious skin. Adding coconut oil provides a boost of antioxidants.

Milk Bath
Fill your bathtub with warm water and add up to five cups of rich, whole milk or buttermilk. Light a few candles, turn on some tunes, and soak yourself for twenty to thirty minutes. Milk contains proteins that can help smooth and rejuvenate dry skin.

Oatmeal and Yogurt Exfoliant
Mix one cup uncooked oatmeal and a few spoonfuls of plain yogurt to create an exfoliating paste. Use as a gentle body scrub to remove dry, flaky skin and dead skin cells. The oatmeal will do the scrubbing while the yogurt does the moisturizing.

Maintain a Healthy Diet
Be sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day and eat foods high in nutrients. Think fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco - all skin dehydrators, and avoid processed and packaged foods as much as possible.